Falling Skies
by: Sammi Deem
Ash colored rain falls from her clouded eyes. Julia can’t stand to look at her own reflection—at the woman she is slowly becoming. The drops streak her face like tire tracks on a worn, wet, road. Each drop falls, rolling down her face like they were attached to strings. They are probably the same strings that controlled her life, her marriage, and her family. How did things get this bad, she wonders.
Blue and purple bruises collar her neck. The outline of his hands wrap around her neck, leaving a mark of their marriage that no one wanted to see. There is no hiding from this reality and no covering it up like she had all the others. The bruises will eventually go away but the scars will always be there.
She is momentarily pulled out her world as she hears small voices close by. Her daughters, Elizabeth and Madison have been hiding since the fight hours ago. Madison, the older of the two, protects her sister from it all. She tells her stories and plays games to pretend that it’s not happening. She knows that her daughters are smarter than either of them realizes of each other. She fears that this will shape who are they as the bruises shape who she is.
As her mind continues to swirl, the same small voice that was a few rooms away is now coming from the doorway of the bedroom. The words Julia hoped to never hear escaped Elizabeth’s mouth. It was as if she was sure of the answer before asking the question.
“Mommy, why are you crying?”
Taking her daughter into her lap and wrapping her arms around the child’s small frame Julia answered her daughter hoping to bore her before having to answer her question. “Mommy’s sad honey.”
“Well, why are you sad?”
Julia felt more tears falling from her eyes as cold air filled her lungs. Both Elizabeth and Julia knew why the tears were falling. Quickly Julia tried to decide if she should answer her daughter or just continue to hold her.
The real question Julia had to answer was whether she had the power to protect her daughters from this pain. It seemed that Elizabeth’s once innocent mind is now familiar with the brokenness that fills so many words, actions, and looks that Julie and her husband share. Could Julia convince Elizabeth that her father wasn’t evil? Could she convince herself of that?
Realizing her daughter was still sitting in her lap and now playing with her red lipstick, Julia snapped back to the reality before her. She smiled at her daughter who had lipstick all over her face. Elizabeth had an incredible resilience. How could a five year old be so much stronger in the face of so much pain? Julia knew she had to do something. She had to save herself. She had to save her daughters.
“Lizzy, where’s your sister?”
“She fell asleep on the outside. We were looking at the stars.”
“How about we go get her and get some ice cream?” Julia was trying to avoid her husband who would soon return in a drunken stupor.
“Is that what you do when you’re sad mommy?” Elizabeth was hoping with all her being that her mother would say yes.
“What’s that?” Julia didn’t realize that she had just made her daughter’s night.
“Eat ice cream?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes. And do you know what my favorite is?” Julia asked, attempting to mask her voice in excitement when really she feared that her husband might already be home.
“Birthday Cake?” Elizabeth responded hoping her mother would choose her favorite flavor so she could eat out of a big kid cup.
“Yep. That’s—“ Julia stopped mid-sentence to the booming voice her husband.
“JULIA!!!” Jason roared.
“Honey, go to your room. We’ll get ice cream tomorrow night,” Julia said hurriedly to Elizabeth.
She could hear Jason’s footsteps pounding up the stairs one after another. For a moment they stopped. He probably got dizzy and had to recollect himself. Then like a strike of lightening, the door to the bedroom swung open so hard Julia thought it might fall off it’s hinges.
“What the hell is Madison doing sleeping in the front yard?! All we need is one of those CPS idiots to drop in on us like we’re drug dealers or something and take our kids away. Is that what you want?” Jason hollered. He spoke to Julia like she was his third child.
“Maybe CPS would save them from you.” Julia sniped.
“What did you say?” Jason’s head snapped around toward Julia. His eyes waited for a response. They were full of evil and hate.
“Nothing, Jay. She fell asleep looking at the stars. Lizzy just told me before you walked in. Can we please just go to bed?” Julia pleaded with him secretly hoping the nausea of his drunkenness would take over and he would suddenly disappear to bathroom.
“No we can’t just go to bed! You must think I’m an idiot. I know you think you’re better than me”
“At least I don’t have to be drunk to be home.” Julia regretted it before it even reached Jason’s ears.
With a single motion Jason’s candor turned from anger to fury and he turn completely toward Julia and knocked her to the ground.
“MOMMY!!!” Madison was standing in the doorway. From the floor her mother saw a look of sheer terror and disappointment in her daughter’s eyes. It was as if part of her believed Elizabeth’s stories—until now anyways.
“Go to your room Madison!” Jason yelled.
Madison just stood in the doorway in shock. She didn’t know whether to scream or cry. She was afraid to leave the doorway. She feared that if she did, she might never see her mother again.
“GO MADISON! GET OUT OF HERE” Jason screamed.
“Go honey. I’m ok. Just go.” With her mother’s comforting words, Madison left the room, but hid right behind the wall of the bedroom so she could hear her mother.
“What is wrong with you? It’s one thing for you to do this to me, but to ruin our daughter. Do you have a soul?”
Jason just stared at Julia. He looked angry, but his anger looked almost as scared as their daughter did.
“Of course you don’t. If you did…” Before Julia could finish her sentence Jason was in the bathroom getting his face reacquainted with his familiar porcelain friend. Julie didn’t have the strength to move. She didn’t even have the strength to think, but her daughters needed her and she needed to save them.
The bathroom door was open just a bit and Julia could see Jason passed out on the bathroom floor. Most of the time this sight would only make the pain sharper and more severe, but today it gave Julia a chance to get out. She quickly grabbed a bag and some clothes. She ran into her daughters’ rooms and shoved their clothes and stuffed animals into the bag. She then realized Madison wasn’t in her bed.
“Maddy? Honey? Where are you?”
“Mommy?”
“It’s okay honey. It’s okay. Come here. Mommy’s okay.”
Julia grasped her daughter and held her close to her. Elizabeth came in and saw the two of them sitting on the floor. Julia took both of her daughters into her arms. She held her daughters while they cried. She let her daughters know that it was going to be okay. They looked at Julia with eyes that believed her but showed fear. They knew their mother loved them, but they didn’t know if that was enough.
How could they know so much brokenness at such a young age? How can they be so strong, Julia wondered.
The bathroom door creaked like a shrill scream. Jason must have woken up and would be looking for Julia when he realized she wasn’t in bed. Julia picked herself and her daughters up and they went downstairs.
“Mommy, where are we going?” Madison asked.
“Shhhhh. Just follow mommy, Maddy. Pretend like it’s a game.” Elizabeth put her hand over her sister’s mouth and just as quickly Madison batted it away.
“Girls. We are going to go away for a while. It’s like a vacation”
“Are we going to the beach,” Maddy asked excitedly.
“JULIA?! WHERE ARE YOU?” Jason sounded angrier than before.
“Come on girls. Let’s go. We have to go right now.”
“Mommy. Is daddy going to get mad at us. Is he going to hurt you again?”
Elizabeth was afraid of what was going to happen if they didn’t get out.
“No. We are getting out. We are going away right now.”
They got in the car and began to pull out of the driveway. As they closed the garage door, Jason stormed out the front door and watched everything he had controlled for so long drive away…
