And the world turns...

We all go through things. Sometimes our things are harder than other people's things. Sometimes my stuff is a bigger deal to me than you think it should be. We all have perspective and our perspective is unique to our experience, understanding, and emotions. But it doesn't make us exempt from the fact that everyone has these experiences, joyous and painful, that make us feel happy, sad, angry, giddy, loved, alone, and everything in between.


My favorite writer, Jamie Tworkowski (I talk about him a lot) said something pretty smart once (well more than once, but you get the point...):

 "We all wake to the human condition.  We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss..."

Every day people are losing loved ones and every day babies join the world creating love, beauty, and mystery in our worlds and in our families. But life is more than a sitcom and we have to accept that it is not just all happy cuddly moments.


I found myself wishing for younger days recently (that's weird to say at barely 21, but as a senior in college about to be married, I find myself with more responsibility and more decisions than I have ever had before), and with that longing I was wishing for a day to sit around and watch one of my favorite sitcoms  Boy Meets World. 


I always loved BMW because it was real problems (sort of), but they were solved in 28 minutes most of the time. The people dealt with real pain and real loss, but they always found ways to deal with it by the end of the episode. As a kid in a not so perfect home (like that exists) I wished that could be real and I would dream of a world where problems were solved like that.


Where my life is more complicated now and I have more responsibility to myself and others, I find myself wishing for it more. The stakes are higher now and the pain is worse when I mess up and I have come to realize that dream world I wanted as a kid is not just a childish fantasy, but something I still wish for as an adult. Where does that leave me?


I think I have come to realize something else, Jamie Tworkowski said to be true,

 "We live in a difficult world, a broken world.  My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time.  We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck."

I have felt many of these emotions expressed in the above quote and I feel alone, stuck, and confused and wonder why that world I have longed for can't be real. Sometimes I have wondered if that simple world is real and if I am not good enough to have it. 


I have come to realize that the joy comes with the pain. The enjoyment of the good stuff comes from appreciating what you learn from the bad stuff. I have been down some really painful paths and I have messed up my share of things, but I have learned that nothing can be solved in 28 minutes and the problems of this worldh take time, patience, and hard work.


Whether I solve a problem quickly or slowly the world keeps on turning and I will keep on growing and life will keep on moving forward. If I royally mess up life goes on and I will pick up the pieces and move on or I won't. All I know is that if I don't pick up those pieces I will miss out on some really amazing things like love, beauty, peace. And that's just the beginning...